The Right Way to Attract a Man

Trying to catch a man is hard. Getting him to fall in love is easy when you know the right way to attract a man.

I’m embarrassed to post this picture of me online. However, not ashamed in 2013 when I uploaded this picture and similar ones (without the burning X effect) to an online dating website.

Linda M Carleton - 2013
Linda M Carleton – 2013

At the time, I was trying “To Catch a Man.”

Believed the way to catch a man’s attention, and heart was through sexual pleasure, as you can see in this provocative picture.

What was I thinking?

Sexual Pleasure = Love to a Man?


The Dysfunctional Mindset

Acquiring a dysfunctional mindset, I believed a man falls in love with and show his love for a woman with sexual pleasure. To me, this was the reality of how men acted in general. I developed this unhealthy pattern of thinking due to child sexual abuse.

My father sexually abused me at the age of four or five years old. It was normal for him to come into the girl’s bedroom early in the morning and slip into bed. He inadvertently showed his daughters a man shows his love for you by having sexual intercourse with you.

His behavior seemed normal growing up. I didn’t know a man will “not” fall in love with a woman or strictly show his love for a woman just by having sexual intercourse with her.

I didn’t know!

Sexual desire, sexual pleasure and being desirable to a man by wearing sexy clothes had little to do with a man’s long-term commitment to a woman.

I didn’t understand that God’s divine purpose for sexual pleasure between a man and a woman is to create an emotional and intellectual bond of lifelong marital partnership. I learned what God’s divine purpose for sexual pleasure and about the morality of sex from Bob Sherbondy at

God’s Divine Purpose for Sexual Pleasure

God’s divine purpose is to make the two flesh become as one mentally and emotionally and create a deeper connection or bond with loving trust and tender, caring that is much deeper than sexual pleasure and more enduring than romantic moods.

I had no idea that a man will be in love with you when he feels this deeper connection or bond with you. This connection goes far beyond any sexual pleasure a woman has to offer him.

Its unique quality includes a factor of special tenderness that demonstrates a persistent caring that goes way beyond sexual pleasures.

I have never experienced this type of connection with a man. And didn’t understand, a man can be in love with a woman without even having sexual intercourse with her.

And according to Bob’s statements.

A man and woman become “one flesh” in a bonded marital lifetime partnership through exclusive sexual intercourse.


The truth does hurt sometimes.

I cried tears of great pain when the light shined on the truth and exposed this darkness. Felt a deep hurt to the core of my soul when this dysfunctional mindset finally cleared up.

I had been searching for a man’s love in the wrong manner (via sexual pleasure) for over twenty years. It hurt deeply to know that all those years were wasted feeling unloved by men. All those years spent with dysfunctional patterns of thinking. The Lord had shined the light of truth and enlightened my darkness.

For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD, my God, will enlighten my darkness. Psalm 18:28 KJV

Changing a Dysfunctional Mindst

I needed to change this dysfunctional mindset.

I searched online to learn more about men, dating, and relationships, and eventually found Joe Amoia at He helped me understand men, dating, and relationships. What a blessing, I learned How Men Show They Are in Love.”

I posted this picture online as a little girl. And certainly didn’t have very much self-worth going on either. By placing my self-esteem, my value in my body and sexual pleasure.

No dependable, caring, trustworthy and loving man would even respond to this type of picture. At least that is my understanding today. Thanks to Joe.

The Reality Is

The reality is, the only type of man this picture will attract is “not” a man at all. This picture will only attract a “boy” who may look like a man, but who still acts like a little boy who only wants what will make him feel good.

The reality is the only type of woman who would post a picture like this online is “not” a woman at all. It’s a “little girl” who may look like a woman, but who still acts like and has the dysfunctional mindset of a little girl who only wants what will make her feel wanted.

I didn’t have the knowledge that was required to act like a lady. Didn’t have the experience needed to discern what a real man or lady was. I was guilty as charged!

The Right Way to Attract a Man

This message is for all the young girls. Trust me; I learned the hard way. Save yourself a lot of heartache down the road.

If you have pictures of yourself like this online or on your phone DELETE them.

BURN them. ASAP!

And then

Act like and be a lady!

This is “The Right Way To Attract a Man” who is worthy of your loving heart.

Don’t be a victim of this dysfunctional mindset. It will cause you a great deal of pain and anguish in the long run. You will waste years of your life seeking a man’s love in the wrong manner.

You won’t find a man or attract a man’s love by sexual pleasure.


Be a LADY, who is lovely, tender, graceful, loving and one who displays her self-worth to men.


Post a picture similar to this one and strive to be a lady.

Linda M Carleton - 2013
Linda M Carleton – 2013

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