Admitting Your Wrong

Admitting your wrong can be difficult, especially when your own words speak the truth back to you. I wrote a personal letter to a friend in June 2018. 

I opened a saved copy yesterday to reread the contents. And the words of truth spoke to my heart. I’ve been doing the same thing, going in the wrong direction. 

“I fill my mind with speculations, theories, and searched for things to explain past sufferings and this dark and sinful world. The very things I’ve consumed are driving a wedge between Christ and me.” 

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Humbling Lessons Learned

I wrote this blog post in 2015. The humbling lessons learned are still fresh and relevant today. And it’s been edited to reflect personal growth.

Dear Reader,

I began writing after an emotional awakening from years of unacknowledged abuse. I was a victim of child abuse, child sexual abuse, and domestic violence. My thinking was impaired, the inner spirit in turmoil and heart scared.

I started blogging to be listened to and, more importantly, understood. I desperately wanted someone to care about my sufferings. And someone did.

Through blogging, I acknowledged the abuse and learned valuable lessons from previous afflictions. And reached out to and accepted genuine healing from the Lord, Jesus Christ.

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The Danger of Keeping Family Secrets

After years of suffering, I learned, keeping secrets from the public eye was a grave weakness. That secrets prevent you from moving forward in life.

My Father spoke in riddles, making you think one minute and confusing you the next. Like the baffling statement “You can’t start out in life with a broken garden hoe” made days before my wedding. It caused confusion for twenty-eight years.

His famous remark;

don’t tell anyone what goes on in this house.

Keeping family secrets, I lived in the darkness with fear and carried heavy burdens. At forty-six, a battered heart split open, and sinister secrets and burning emotional pain spilled out.

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Profit from Your Suffering

Don’t waste suffering by wallowing in darkness. When you can profit from suffering by focusing on learning life’s lessons in trials and tribulations. – The battle every believer faces.

I prayed to God for guidance a few days ago. Was confused about the direction to go with writing the Memoir and relinquished control over to Him. I wasn’t expecting a fast response nor ready for His answer.

While listening to Profiting from Suffering by Dr. Charles Stanley on InTouch Ministries (my favorite) His answer was clear.

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